Three Little Words
by AlexDrake
Summary: What if Alex had seen Gene's doodle?- My first fic so be nice! Galex based on Ep6
1. The Doodle

She stood before the notice board staring in disbelief, not quite comprehending what she was seeing. She closed her eyes tightly in the vain hope that she would open them and see something, anything else but when she forced her eyelids to part the image hit her like a punch in the stomach. She felt sick with anger and embarrassment. The barely muted sniggers and whisperers around the room did nothing to ally the horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Steeling herself she turned to face her colleagues most of whom seemed to be taking pleasure in her discomfort. She knew she had to ask but she really didn't want to know. Slowly letting her eyes travel around the room she took in each of them individually, Shaz with her wide innocent eyes belied by the half-smirk on her lips, Ray slouched in his chair chewing nonchalantly on gum, a cheeky glint in his eyes and Chris torn between amusement and guilt. Taking a few deep breaths to steady her nerves she said as smoothly as she could manage

" Who did this?"

No answer. Shaz glanced at the two men as if unsure what to do. Ray shrugged and smirked. Chris looked down at his feet afraid to meet her eye. Infuriated at their apparent lack of caring Alex took a step towards them, her eyes glinting. When she spoke again she was surprised to her voice shake slightly

" Look I don't know why you did it and I don't really care. I just want to know who. I want to know who has such a low opinion of me? Whose mind is so.. so…filthy that this was they're idea of a joke?!"

Still nothing. Feeling her blood beginning to boil Alex balled her hands into fists clenching and unclenching them to try and relieve the tension building in her. She didn't want to believe that anyone could think so low of her but it had to be one of them. Didn't it?

" What's goin' on in 'ere? You lot are supposed to be solvin' a murder"

" Gene!"

Taken by surprise Alex turned towards the door where the DCI stood with his hand on the handle frowning. Seeing her red cheeks and fists his eyes darkened slightly. He stepped towards her his voice soft,

"Everything ok Bolls?"

That genuine concern. Something in it warmed her. She paused, watching those blue-green eyes stare steadily back at her, unsure whether she should show him. Chances were he'd blow his top. Angry as she was she didn't want to be responsible for some-one getting a kicking. Still maybe he could get it out of them who was responsible.

Stepping up to the notice board she removed the paper and held it out to him. He took it wordlessly. Stepping closer she spoke, her words dripping sarcasm

"Did you know we have an artist in our midst? They won't tell me who. Such a shame he's so modest, he's got a lot of tal…"

She stopped, suddenly aware that the DCI wasn't listening. He was staring at the drawing his face ashen. When he spoke his voice was soft but deadly

"Where did this come from?"

Turning slowly he faced the other three. Alex was taken aback at the look in is eyes. They flashed with anger and something else she couldn't quite read. Shaz, Ray and Chris all seemed to wither under his stare. He stepped towards them eyes blazing.

" I asked you a bloody question!" he bellowed making them all jump.

" Easy Guv we were just 'avin a laugh" Ray somehow managed to collect himself and was staring stubbornly back at Hunt. " We just though DI Drake might like to see what a fine artist you are…"

"You what !" Hunt was now standing directly over Ray bearing down on him like a titan. Instantly realising his mistake Ray shut his mouth and averted his gaze quickly for fear the DCI might murder him on the spot

Alex stood routed to the spot unable to move or speak. She felt like she'd been slapped._ He drew the picture? Gene? No he couldn't have. He wouldn't. _But when she looked at him his eyes told her all she needed to know. They betrayed a mixture of anger and guilt and that something she couldn't quite see.

Tears threatened to well up but she refused to allow them to see her cry. Wouldn't allow him to know how much he'd hurt her. Of all the people who could have done it why him? And then to go and pin it up for all and sundry to see! Her stomach was twisted into a tight knot and she felt dizzy. She had to get out, get away. Hastily she grabbed her jacket and hurried for the door, pushing past Hunt who was still glowering down at Ray apparently unable to decide what to do. Stumbling slightly as those tears she'd been holding back suddenly began to fall she ran as fast she could out of the station. She barely heard Viv call her as she raced through reception passed curious on-lookers and down the steps to the pavement. All she could hear were her own sobs. Somewhere behind her some-one was calling her name. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a tall broad figure following her but she didn't stop. She didn't know where she was going, only that she had to get away. Away from CID. Away from him.


	2. In love with a construct

Alone at last. Just her and a bottle of red. Only 10pm. She'd only been sitting there for an hour and was already on her third glass. A walk on the docks had done nothing to stop her pain. Tears streaming down her cheeks she'd wandered aimlessly for ages attracting curious looks from passers-by and even prompting one elderly woman to stop and ask her if she was ok. She'd muttered something about just feeling unwell and hurried away as quick as she could. Craving solitude she somehow found her way back to her flat where she was now sat on a stool downing red and feeling worse by the second.

Why did he do this? Why would he hurt her like this? What had she done to deserve it. Didn't he know how she felt? That he made her feel things she never thought she could. That no matter how down she felt, however bad a day she was having, seeing him, hearing his voice, feeling his eyes on her, always made her feel better. That she longed for more than lingering looks, the odd brush of his hand, the playful flirting. Didn't any of that mean anything to him? Or was he just after his jollies?

The odd thing was that as much as it hurt there was a small part of her that couldn't help feeling a little flattered. She knew Gene, knew he wasn't a man of words and had the impression that he had put down on paper what he found hard to say . She so wished he could say it to her face. Three little words. That's all she wanted. Was that really too much to ask?

_But if it's so easy why can't I say it to him?_

Because she was scared? Because she didn't want to be hurt again? Or Because a small part of her worried he wouldn't say it back even though a larger part knew he would? All of those things. And, because the more she fell for him the more she couldn't bear to hurt him by getting involved when she knew she'd have to leave him so soon.

In spite of herself she laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. Here she was lost in her own mind, an emotional wreak because she'd fallen in love with a imaginary construct who was probably the complete opposite of what she'd go for in the real world. Gene was stubborn, unpredictable, unbelievably prejudiced towards women, gays you name it, and had ideas about policing she could only describe as Neanderthal. And yet he was completely irresistible to her. She wanted everything about him. Perhaps because she'd seen a side to him others rarely, if ever, did. A gentle, protective, and sensitive side that he seemed to reserved only for her. And she loved him all the more for it.

But now she was doubting herself. And him. Could he really have turned on the charm just to get his bit, like so many of the men she'd come into contact with over the years? She didn't want to believe it. She'd been so sure her feelings were reciprocated. So sure he felt the same. So sure…..

A sudden knock the door brought her out of her reverie. Trying not fall she carefully eased herself out of her stool and made her way to the door swaying slightly. After a brief fumbling with the lock she swung the door open and immediately her stomach tightened. Gene Hunt leaned unsteadily against the door frame looking slightly dishevelled and more than a little bit drunk.

"Bolls I.."

" Go away" she spat trying to close the door on him but stopping as he wedged his foot in the jamb rendering it impossible to shut it.

"Look I know I'm the last person you want to see right now …"

" You think…" she gave hard laugh "Quite honestly I wouldn't care if I never saw your face again. You disgust me"

" Alex…"

The use of her first name stopped her briefly. God why did he have to do that? If he'd any idea what it to her, hearing her name on his lips like that. But no she wouldn't let herself go there. She needed to focus on the immediate issue.

" Just leave me alone"

For a moment it looked as though he might leave but then he seemed to have second thoughts and stepped forward into the apartment. He was unsteady on his feet and as he came towards her he stumbled slightly. Instinctively she reached out a hand to help him and was aware of him tensing slightly when she touched his arm. For a second time seemed to stop. His fingers closed on her elbow. Slowly he started to pull her in. His eyes seemed to burn into hers.

" Bolly….I…." his tone was husky and gentle

No Alex get a grip! She chided herself. He'd embarrassed her, hurt her and he wasn't going to wriggle out it of that easy as tempted as she was to let him. Suddenly snapping back to reality, she turned on her heel, shuffled back to her stool and poured herself another glass of wine. Wordlessly he followed her seating himself on the empty stool to her left.


	3. Speak now

Gene sat still and silent watching her. Her face was pale, her eyes red and puffy. Her brown curls were messy and windswept and she kept shivering though it wasn't cold. Though she was trying her best not to look at him every so often the large brown eyes would meet his and the pain they betrayed almost killed him. She was beautiful even through her pain. It was all he could do to keep himself from taking her in his arms there and then and telling her how he felt. He wanted to hold her, to feel her body against his, to whisper in her ear that it would be alright, that he'd look after her and to hear her whisper back. Three little words.

Why the bloody hell did he have to do that stupid doodle? And at the station of all bloody places. It was a police station after all. Nothing stayed hidden in a police station. What his colleagues must think of him he didn't dare imagine. But that was nothing, nothing compared to how she was looking at him now. Like the very sight of him disgusted her.

The several full to the brim pints he'd spent the evening downing in Luigi's weren't doing anything to help his mood. If anything they made it worse. He knew Luigi had been right when, on serving him his third in less than an hour, he had cautiously suggested

" Perhaps Signor you have enough now si?".

Hunt had told him rather unceremoniously to "Piss off" but then quickly apologised because he knew that a) Luigi was right and b) it was his own fault he'd ended up here drinking away his misery and there was no need to take it out on the portly Italian. He'd finished that pint, a fourth and was the verge of ordering another when Luigi, most unusually for him, had refused to serve him anymore.

" I think Signor Hunt, drink will not help you. I think you don't want anymore really"

" Well c'mon then Quincy what do you reckon I want?"

At this the other man had smiled knowingly

" Go and talk to the lovely Signorina. I think she will not turn you away"

He could have argued but he didn't. What was the use? Luigi was right. The man had an uncanny knack for knowing exactly what was wrong with people and how they could fix it. The only option left was to try and talk to her. So here he was in her flat still a bit drunk sitting on stool watching her suffer and feeling like hell.

'Christ on a bloody bike she must 'ate me!' he thought 'probably thinks I was only

tryin' to get my bit'

Why couldn't he just say how he felt instead of resorting to filthy obscene disgusting smutty filth like that. Not that the mental images in conjured up weren't enjoyable. No not the time, not the bloody time. Ok no more stalling he had to do it, had to tell her the truth. 'Speak now or forever 'old your piece' he told himself.

" Look I know I shouldn't 'ave drawn it ….'an I was exactly planning on sharin' it with the 'ole class "

She looked up at him eyes flashing

" That's hardly the point is it? I mean do have any idea how…how degrading and..and embarrassing…"

she stopped her breathing rapid shaky, eyes wet

" I mean I might have expected that from Ray or even Chris but… not…I mean I though you lo.. thought you had more respect for me than that. Is that really all I am to you? A piece of meat?"

She was crying now, tears running down her cheeks.

" Well?" she asked sobbing hard now " Is it? Is that all I'm good for? Wham bam thank you bloody ma'am!"

" Course not" he softly leaning close to her " Come 'ere"

She hesitated for a moment then slid off her stool and moved closer. He reached out his arms and she let him put them round her waist but wouldn't come any closer. He pulled gently into him and felt her arms go round his waist. Still she refused to look at him. Cupping her chin in his hand he turned her head so she was facing him. Softly he placed a kiss on each eyelid tasting salty tears.

" No more tears little lady" he whispered " Oh god Alex I'm so sorry. I swear I never wanted to hurt you…I.."

He wished she'd say something, anything. But she wouldn't look at him never mind speak. God he'd lost her. He'd never forgive himself if that happened. How could he have been so stupid? All because he couldn't say those three little words that had plagued him for weeks. Now she would never know and he hated himself for it.

Now anger boiled inside him as well as everything else. Christ he'd go through Ray and the rest tomorrow. After Alex had run off earlier he'd had to get out too, had go cool off. He hadn't trusted himself to try and deal with his team at the time without literally giving them a hiding. But by god he wouldn't hold back tomorrow if things went to pot here tonight.

He had no idea how they'd gotten hold of it. He could have sworn he'd thrown it out. But that was beside the point. What had possessed them to parade it to the entire station like that was beyond him. Surely Ray and Chris of all people would have known what it meant, would have understood why he'd done it. But then maybe that was why. To take the piss out of him for wanting something his head kept telling him was well out of his league.

He looked at the woman in his arms again. She was resting her head on his chest, looking at the floor. She'd stopped crying now but her breaths were shaky and she was trembling slightly. Right there was only one thing for it. Gently he turned her face to him again. The anger was gone from her eyes now. All that was left was pain. She rested her cheek against his palm regarding him questioningly.

" Gene?…."

" I… I need to say something"

He took a deep breath, preparing himself. His heart was pounding so hard it wouldn't have surprised him if she heard it. He couldn't believe three little words could be so hard to say. But then the last time he'd said them he'd been hurt badly. However as he gazed down into Alex's soft open face he had the feeling that this would be different. This time he was safe.

Holding her close and hoping she knew he meant it with all his heart he said softly

" I love you"


End file.
